Silentium: A place of imposed silence. After experiencing sexual assault, culture extinguishes truth telling. Articulation deviates into forced reliving. Judgement affects reputations. Speaking is twisted to stoke the flames of shame. Fault internalized. Authentic expression is depressed, we are dehumanized. Social rules constrict our throat chakra from pure authoritative freedom to communicate.
Balls of yarn; cherry red, forest green, billowy white, Black-eyed Susan yellow, deep ocean blue, come roll with me.
Let’s roll down the hill.
Look out below. Look down the hill. What do you see?
This hill leads to a forest full of magic.
Trees dot the hill like a maze.
Roll yarn roll.
Roll yarn roll, among the trees we wind ourselves.
We reach the bottom, a pile of knotted, intertwined colours.
Glancing back, I see that each of us started independent paths, passing past trees, some only touched by a single colour, other touched by multiple threads.
I sit here intertwined, glancing into the forest.
Feel the magic.
Smell the loam of the forest floor.
It isn’t silent. Hear the rustle of the Aspen leaves in the breeze. The birds are talking. A woodpecker is working hard to dig out dinner from a tree somewhere.
See the multiple greens, yellows, even hints of orange and red. Is Autumn approaching?
Watch the sunlight – He plays with the colours, sprinkling his light here and there, allowing each leaf a moment in the spotlight.
Our intertwined collision of colour that we have become must move forward into the forest on all fours. I am no longer able to stand on two legs; we are more like an animal of some sort.
It is difficult to move forward.
The magic has called me to this spot.
Lying down, I close my eyes.
Listen. Listen with your body.
They are here if you listen.
They embrace your body with love.
The multicoloured, intertwined body is embraced with their love.
Feel their laughter, their pure joy in what you have become in the crazy journey to visit them.
Down the hill you rolled with your playmates of colours.
They love the crazy chaos of colour you have brought into their presence.
After awhile I sense them no longer.
It is time to collect myself together and go home.
The day is drawing to an end, dinner will be ready soon and I am expected home.